Scratchwood Station

charlierc · Posted: Sat Nov 28, 2009 9:42 pm Post subject:

*Somewhere in the Bay of Biscay near San Sebastian, Spain.*

Balowski: Камрады внимания! Группа в составе шпионки спрашивает, что я иду прежде чем они невооружённые к атомной электростанции Scratchwood не познее 3 часа или другие они дуют она вверх!
Russian Officer: О МОЙ БОГ!
Balowski: Нет потревоженные камрады. Я думаю что эти люди хотели информацию от меня, который почему I' ve выбранный для того чтобы не пойти к Scratchwood недавно. Я думаю давно пора я останавливаю спрятать как младенец и иду.
Russian Officer: Я понимаю.
Balowski: Установите ветрило для Соединённое Королевство, шкипера
Skipper: Да да, господин

*The ship begins takes a turn and proceeds away. It's next stop - United Kingdom, where troop transport shall proceed onto the facility held hostage by those searching for Balowski.*
_________________
Charles, PA Announcer and light show guy (and owner of C&X Group).

Electricfox · Posted: Tue Dec 01, 2009 6:23 pm Post subject:

*Off the coast of Portsmouth*

Sonar: "New Sonar contact, designate Sierra Six Two bearing two one five!"
Captain: "Radar, anything on that bearing?"
Radar: "Negative on Two one five, sir."
Captain: "Come about to course two one five, launch the helo."

Deck: "Launch deck to control, helo away."
Sonar: "Contact is classified as a Juliett class SSGK"
Captain: "A Juliett? What the hell is that doing in the Channel?"
Helo: "Hot buoy, channel four, bearing zero one five."
Sonar: "Contact is changing depth, hull creaking noises on Sierra Six Two."
Captain: "Man battlestations submarine."
XO: "Aye sir."

*The XO sounds an alarm and speaks into a microphone.*

XO: "All hands this is the XO, man battlestations submarine, I repeat man battlestations submarine, this is not a drill."

Helo: "MAD MAD MAD!"
Captain: "You're not kidding...oh...control to helo, confirm MAD."

*The Lynx wheels over and passes over the submarines position again.*

Helo: "MAD MAD MAD, smoke away!"

*The Lynx drops a smoke marker on the position of the submarine.*

Captain: "Ok, mark that smoke, sonar full power one ping."
Sonar: "Aye, sir."

*The Type 42 destroyer sends out an active sonar pulse which hits the submarine.*
Russian Officer: "You' ve счетчик-обнаружено, продолжается с вашим полетом."
Balowski: "Нагрузите пробки одно до 5 и подготовьте сгореть на том сосуде!"
Russian Officer: "Камрад капитан, это великобританский американец сосуда не!"
Balowski: "Очень наилучшим образом после этого, отделывает поверхность шлюпка!"

*The Juliette class SSGK surfaces off Portsmouth and is escorted into the dock by the Type 42 destroyer. Waiting on the dockside is a familiar looking Lada with three familiar looking people standing next to it.*

Electricfox: "Balowski? What have you done now?!"
Domino: "You've really put yourself in it!"
Keab: "Come on...we've not got much time to get to the airport!"
_________________
Jamie
The local 'Bobby'

charlierc · Posted: Sun Dec 06, 2009 1:51 am Post subject:

*Carlisle Citadel Station*

*A 252 prototype, fit to bursting full of evacuees from Scratchwood, rolls into the Scotland-bound platform of the station.*

Louis (on PA): This is Carlisle. We've had about 19 requests to stop here so we will be stopping here. Thank you.

Charlie: So, Matt, Derek, you wanna de-camp here?
Matt: Why?
Charlie: There's a C&X base in the mountains just west of Newcastle. We can hide out there.
Derek: I THINK IT IS AN OK OP-TION AND I AD-VISE TO TAKE IT!
Matt: Ok, ok! Jeez!

*The 252 slows to a stop in the platform. Some people, including Charlie, Matt and Derek de-camp on the station while a few people heading for Glasgow anyway decide to jump aboard.*

Matt: Right, when's the Newcastle train?

Station PA: The train about to leave Platform 3 is the 0201 train to Newcastle Central. This train calls at Hexham and Newcastle Central, and consists of 4 coaches. That is all.
Charlie: That's us.

*A 4 car Class 158 sits in the platform, with only a few passengers. The trio jump in into the last carriage.*
_________________
Charles, PA Announcer and light show guy (and owner of C&X Group).

Electricfox · Posted: Fri Jan 08, 2010 8:12 pm Post subject:

*The snowplough train pushes deep into a drift and then stops. The men on board get out and climb up onto the snow around the line and start digging trenches a few feet apart lit only by the stars and a few tilly lamps.*

Keab: *From one trench* "Why are we doing this?"
Electricfox: *From the other* "The snow has to be cut up into chunks to help get the snow plough train through otherwise the plough will get stuck as well."
Keab: "Great...and how long do we have to do this?"
Electricfox: "Just dig down until you reach the track and then we'll go to the next trench that's needed and then eventually the train will plough through and we'll make progress."
Keab: "Fair enough..."

*They keep digging. Soon the locomotives whistle and reverse backwards.*

Keab: "Where are they going?"
Electricfox: "No idea...we haven't been given the stand clear."

*The engine reverses back down the line and out of sight.*
_________________
Jamie
The local 'Bobby'

Electricfox · Posted: Fri Jan 08, 2010 8:25 pm Post subject:

*Electricfox and Keab are now both in the same trench.*

Keab: "Wow...I don't believe it..."
Electricfox: "What...that there's actually a railway line under this?"
Keab: "No...that I've actually found something more back breaking than firing a steam locomotive."
Electricfox: "....true that."

*There's a clang, Keab scrapes his shovel on something.*

Keab: "Oh...and there's the track!"

_________________
Jamie
The local 'Bobby'

Electricfox · Posted: Fri Jan 08, 2010 9:50 pm Post subject:

*There is the sound of a train approaching from the south. A nearby foreman swings a red light in the direction of the oncoming train. Keab and Electricfox look at each other.*

Electricfox: "If he shouts break, you run that way and I'll run this way."
Keab: "What if this line is the southbound line?"
Electricfox: "...."
Keab: "Marvellous..."

*There's suddenly two loud cracks one after another like gunshots, Electricfox throws himself face down in the snow.*

Keab: "Get up you moron, it's the detonators!"

*Sure enough, the train slows and comes to a halt short of the work crew. At this point the foreman indicates a shift changeover and a tea break for the current workers. Keab and Electricfox climb up into the carriage and receive their tea and bacon sandwiches.*

Keab: "These sandwiches aren't that bad...where'd you get them from?"
Driver: "That cafe at the last station, bloody expensive though."

*Both Keab and Electricfox look at each other, then as one leap out of the carriage and start throwing up at the side of the tracks.*

Driver: "Eh? What's up wi'them?"
_________________
Jamie
The local 'Bobby'

Electricfox · Posted: Sat Jan 09, 2010 12:49 pm Post subject:

*The digging continues throughout the night and by the time morning comes they have dug enough trenches to allow the plough train to reach the stranded freight.*

Keab: "Are you sure we're fair enough away?"
Electricfox: "Positive!"
Keab: "Because you know...that's a lot of snow..."
Electricfox: "Yeah..."
Keab: "And the plough train hits it at some speed..."
Electricfox: "...yeah..."

*The plough train comes around the corner at full pelt and hits the snow.*

*Both Keab and Electricfox get covered in flying snow.*

Keab: "That's the last time I let you judge distances..."
Electricfox: "It must have been effected by wind sheer..."
_________________
Jamie
The local 'Bobby'

Electricfox · Posted: Sat Jan 09, 2010 1:05 pm Post subject:

*The plough finally reaches the stranded train.*

Electricfox: "Right, so that's it now, right?"
Keab: "Wrong."
Electricfox: "What do you mean?"
Keab: "Look at the engine, she's not going anywhere fast. We'll need to get her out."
Electricfox: "But...it's just snow..."
Keab: "No, it's ice...look, when she got stuck she melted the snow around her which turned into water and then when she cooled down, the water turned into ice...and now she's frozen solid."
Electricfox: "Craaaap..."

_________________
Jamie
The local 'Bobby'

Electricfox · Posted: Sat Jan 09, 2010 1:19 pm Post subject:

*A few minutes later*

Electricfox: "If I ever see another shovel in my life I will cry..."
Keab: "I've definately got to invent something to melt snow without melting people and metals..."
_________________
Jamie
The local 'Bobby'

Electricfox · Posted: Sat Jan 09, 2010 1:28 pm Post subject:

*With the moving parts cleared of snow, it's time to melt the ice.*

Electricfox: "Right, so this cotton waste soaked in paraffin gets packed into the moving parts?"
Keab: "Right."
Electricfox: "Ok...and Balowski and his guys are carrying on shoveling between the wagons and the rest of the train."
Keab: "Uh huh."
Electricfox: "So, what do we do with this paraffin?"

*Keab sets fire to the paraffin soaked cotton waste.*

Electricfox: "Well, that's one way of doing it..."
Keab: "Yup, and the other way is to use these steam jets from the rescue engine."
Electricfox: "Sweet..."

_________________
Jamie
The local 'Bobby'

Electricfox · Posted: Sat Jan 09, 2010 5:52 pm Post subject:

*With the moving parts now mainly defrosted the rescue engines couple up to the stranded loco.*

Keab: "Do you think she'll move?"
Electricfox: "No idea...hope she does though, we've got two locos, should be enough..."
Keab: "Yeah."

*They stand by, leaning on their shovels as the engines whistle and then take the strain.*

*To the relief and cheers of the rescue crew, the stranded engine starts to move.*

Electricfox: "Surely that's it now...right?"
Keab: "Wrrrong!"
Electricfox: "WHAT NOW?!!"

*Keab points to the wagons still stuck in the snow.*

Electricfox: "Oh for the love of god..."

*They pick up their shovels and join in with Balowskis men clearing the wagons of snow.*
_________________
Jamie
The local 'Bobby'

Electricfox · Posted: Sat Jan 09, 2010 8:58 pm Post subject:

*Keab and Electricfox clear the snow from the last of the wagons.*

*A new rescue locomotive draws up to the wagons and Electricfox couples it up.*

Guard: "STAND CLEAR!!"

*Electricfox and the rest of the gangers stand back from the train, the guard waves a lamp at the driver who opens the regulator and the engine slowly pulls the wagons out of the snow and away down the line to the cheers of the gangers.*

Electricfox: "Now we're done?"
Keab: *Nods* "NOW we're done."
Electricfox: "Oh thank God..." *collapses in the snow*
Keab: *rolls his eyes* "Balowski, get some of that vodka over here!"

*Keab drags Electricfox over to the waiting carriage and tank locomotive to take the crew back to Scratchwood. They board, and when everyone else is on board, the locomotive takes them back.*
_________________
Jamie
The local 'Bobby'

charlierc · Posted: Thu Feb 18, 2010 2:49 pm Post subject:

*Meanwhile, 4 1/2 miles outside Scratchwood...*

*The rain is falling but there in an unusual thing about it, and suddenly trees are being stripped of their bark, branches and leaves.*

*In an eco-bar next to the road, a pair of Greenpeace activists are looking out at the scene unfolding before them.*

Ecological Protestor: That tears it! I've had enough of Keab's experiments polluting our atmosphere! Down with his lab! Down with it I say! Who's with me?
Ecological Protestor 2: Me!. But I need my lentil bake first mate.
Ecological Protestor: You've just had 3!
Ecological Protestor 2: And?
Ecological Protestor: You're like the stupid corporatocracy, quaffing your way through our fragile planet's resources like champagne!
_________________
Charles, PA Announcer and light show guy (and owner of C&X Group).

Keab42 · Posted: Tue Apr 06, 2010 12:23 am Post subject:

*At the London offices of Dewey, Cheatum and Howe Insurance agency*

Junior Insurer: Sir, another claim filed for damage to the Midland Tower. Why do we keep insuring that place?

Senior Insurer: Have you seen the premiums we charge? In a year or two they'll be paying more per year than the whole building is worth?

Junior: But aren't we loosing money on the repairs?

Senior: For now, but when they renew the policy we'll be removing our cover for Acts of Keab, Mad Science damage and Extra-terrestrial agression. We'll never have to pay out another penny.

Junior: But won't they switch companies?

Senior: Who'd insure them with the amount of damage that building takes?

*maniacal laughter begins to emanate from the room*

charlierc · Posted: Tue Apr 06, 2010 11:14 pm Post subject:

*The maniacal laughter continues until the recieve a fax from C&X*

Junior Insurer: Boss, they've just sent us a fax. It's like they knew we were laughing!
Senior Insurer: What?

*The senior insurer tears the fax off from his machine.*

Senior Insurer: Let's see... "Dear Dewey, Cheatum and Howe Insurance Agency, we have decided to terminate our services with your insurance operation. This is because we have agreed a deal with another firm where we pay less premiums in light of the building's reduced overall worth, as they are comfortable with the fact that our building gets lots of damage as it is based in a high-accidental area and the boss lives there, and his house was recently destroyed by a Keab experiment. So thank you for your service, and goodbye, C&X Limited."

Senior Insurer: Bugger.
_________________
Charles, PA Announcer and light show guy (and owner of C&X Group).