Scratchwood Station

Electricfox · Posted: Fri Jan 08, 2010 9:42 pm Post subject:

*The Driver comes back out of the cafe muttering something about extortion under his breath and climbs back into the Standard Class Five and heads back out into the night with the snowplough train.*
_________________
Jamie
The local 'Bobby'

charlierc · Posted: Sun Jan 10, 2010 1:19 am Post subject:

*PA chimes in*

Charlie: Next train through Platform 3 does not stop here. The next train through Platform 5 is however - this sleeper train to Inverness will call at Leeds Central, Newcastle Central, Kirckaldy, Dundee, Aberdeen, Dyce and Inverness. Thank you.

*The PA goes off. The snowed in goods train rescued by Electricfox and Keab and the First Bad Russian Accent Brigade heads through Platform 3 towards the MPD, as a Deltic-hauled sleeper train heads into Platform 5, which is lightly covered in snow. A couple of shivering passengers shake their way into the carriages.*

*PA then chimes in just as the sleeper departs.*

Charlie: The next train into Platform 6 terminates here. This is the delayed train to London King's Cross, but due to technical issues this train is being terminated here. Meanwhile the train arriving on Platform 2 is not a passenger train, and terminates here too. Please do not board either of these trains.

*A Class 47 hauls into a broken-down Intercity 225 into the platform. It is obvious what is wrong - namely the fact the pantograph of the Class 91 locomotive has icicles dangling off it. Meanwhile, two black 5 standards push in a couple of MK1 carriages into the platform. Out come Keab, Electricfox and Balowski plus his bridgade*

Keab: Scratchwood Junction! Now we can rest Jamie!

*PA chimes in.*

Charlie: Train services towards Leicester London Road, Derby, Nottingham and Sheffield Midland are currently delayed due to a train being snowed in just outside Market Harborough station. As a result, the train approaching Platform 3 terminates here. It will be turning around here and forming the 0145 train towards London St. Pancras, calling at Luton Airport Parkway and London St. Pancras.

*PA goes off.*

Electricfox: Meh. We can leave with.
Keab: More vodka Balowski!
Electricfox: Da komrade.

*Another bottle is bought out for Keab and Electricfox to drink, as they shiver their way towards the cafe.*
_________________
Charles, PA Announcer and light show guy (and owner of C&X Group).

Electricfox · Posted: Sat Apr 03, 2010 10:55 pm Post subject:

*The local passenger train pulls to a halt at platform two.*

*Derek exits the cafe.*

Derek: "RE-LEASE THE BIRDS! RE-LEASE THE BIIIRDS!!"

*He moves up to the last carriage of the train, a so-called 'Pigeon van' and opens the door, a dozen or so pigeons fly out, making Derek move back in surprise, then Electricfox walks out covered in feathers and pigeon droppings.*

Electricfox: "Thanks Derek."
Derek: "Ummm...Ok?"

*Electricfox mutters under his breath and walks into the cafe.*
_________________
Jamie
The local 'Bobby'

Keab42 · Posted: Tue Apr 06, 2010 12:31 am Post subject:

*Derek is running around in circles on the platforms trying to avoid a beam of light emanating from a giant flying eyeball*

Derek: I DID NOT POKE YOU!

*The beam of light continues chasing him*

Derek: THIS IS NOT THE PRIS-ON-ER YOU ARE LOOK-ING FOR!

*nothing changes*

Derek: OH SOD THIS! EL-EV-ATE!

charlierc · Posted: Tue Apr 06, 2010 10:57 pm Post subject:

*While trying to evade the Atraxi's scanners, Derek crashes into the station roof.*

Derek: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA! WHY DOES THIS PLACE NEED A ROOF ANY-WAY?

*The scanner hovers over him.*

Atraxi: You are not Prisoner Zero. Prisoner Zero must leave the human residence or the human residence will be incinerated.

Prisoner Zero (hiding undercover deep beneath the platforms): Hehehehe, they'll never find me here...
_________________
Charles, PA Announcer and light show guy (and owner of C&X Group).

Electricfox · Posted: Wed Apr 14, 2010 3:01 pm Post subject:

*With the alien presence suddenly disappeared, Derek is trundling down platform one when a bumblebee lands on his eye-stalk.*

Derek: "AAAAAH! GET IT OFF! GET IT OOOOFFFFF!!"

*He reverses violently and falls off the platform onto the tracks. The bumblebee flies away.*

Derek: "Phew...THAT WAS CL-"

*A Class 90 on a freight passes through platform two, knocking Derek up onto the station roof.*

Derek: "HOW DO I ALWAYS LAND UP HEEERE?!! DAM-MIT, NOW MY PAINT-WORK IS ALL MESSED UP!"

*He elevates off the roof and heads over towards Keabs Lab.*
_________________
Jamie
The local 'Bobby'

Electricfox · Posted: Wed Apr 14, 2010 3:19 pm Post subject:

*Electricfox passes Derek.*

Electricfox: "Hey Derek...nice paint job!"
Derek: "SHUT UP! HU-MAN DES-IG-NATED KEAB42 IS RE-QUIRED TO BE EX-TER-MIN-ATED FOR HIS CRIMES AG-AINST THE DAAA-LEK EMPIRE AND FASH-ION SENSE!"

*Derek heads off towards Keabs Lab.*

Electricfox: "He'll be long gone before you get there..."

*Derek has gone.*

Electricfox: "Seeing that paint job though...takes me back...back to the heady days of the Blitz down at the old Cabinet war rooms...silly old Winnie didn't know what he'd let himself in for..."

*Lost in reminiscence, Electricfox keeps walking down the platform towards the signalbox.*
_________________
Jamie
The local 'Bobby'

Mattaf · Posted: Thu Apr 22, 2010 1:32 pm Post subject:

*The Mighty Morphin' Power Daleks approach the platform*

Supreme Dalek: EXTERMINATE THE NARRATOR!

*The disembodied vocie inside the asterisks gets ex... ARGH!!!!*

Supreme Dalek: LOCATE THE INFERIOR DALEK! EXTERMINATE!

*The sound of a distant steam whistle is heard. The drone dalek swivels around in confussion.*

Drone: WHAT IS THAT SOUND?!

Supreme: EXPLAIN! EXPLAIN! EXPLAIN!

*They all turn to look down the track, just in time to see...*

Daleks: OH BOLL....

*CRASH*
_________________
Mattaf, Station Master
Scratchwood - "How the Rail Network Should be... sorta..."

charlierc · Posted: Fri Apr 23, 2010 5:06 pm Post subject:

*Matt walks out of the cafe and spots the Mighty Morfin' Power Daleks on the track in a bright heap by the platform.*

Supreme Dalek: RA-CIST NA-RRA-TING BAS-TARD!

Matt: Ah, so these must be the new Daleks Derek has been shitting himself over.
Supreme Dalek: WHO IS THIS DEREK?
Matt: Oh, he's my Dalek.
Supreme Dalek: YOUR DALEK?!?
Matt: Yes, my Dalek window cleaner and security guard.
Supreme Dalek: THEN HE IS A BIG-GER CON-TAM-I-NA-TION TO THE DA-LEK KIND THEN WE FIRST FEARED!
Drone Dalek: WHEN WE EX-TER-MIN-ATE HIM HE SHOULD BE RE-LIE-VED AT BE-ING FREED FROM THIS PIT-I-FUL EX-CUSE FOR A LIFE! THE DA-LEKS WERE BUILT TO BE FEARED, NOT TO BE HU-MAN EM-PLOY-EES!
Supreme Dalek: I KNOW THAT CAP-TAIN EIN-STIEN!
Drone Dalek: A-POLO-GIES MAS-TER!

Matt: Yeah, is this going anywhere?
Supereme Dalek: HU-MAN DETEC-TED! EX-TER-MI-NATE!

*Matt ducks out of the way as the beam puts a hole in the side of the cafe.*

Matt: YOU JUST PUT A HOLE IN MY CAFE WALL!
Supreme Dalek: GOOD! EVEN FROM THE OUT-SIDE, THE SMELL IN-DI-CATES THAT THE FOOD IS NOT FIT EVEN FOR A DA-LEK!
Scientist Dalek: SCANS SUG-GEST YOU COULD IM-PROVE THE COOK-ING THERE IF YOU PUT ME IN CHARGE!
Matt: Ok then, you go into the kitchen now and cook up something.
Scientist Dalek: THAT WAS NOT MY IN-TENT-ION!
Matt: Well tough, you just volunteered yourself! Now get your big blue butt in their now and make me a chicken sandwich!
Scientist Dalek: NO!
Matt: What did you say to me?
Supreme Dalek: HE SAID NO, PUNY HU-MAN!
_________________
Charles, PA Announcer and light show guy (and owner of C&X Group).

Mattaf · Posted: Sat Apr 24, 2010 10:16 am Post subject:

Matt: I HEARD WHAT HE SAID NUMBNUTS! NOW ALL OF YOU GET YOUR COLLECTIVE TELETUBBIE ARSES INTO THAT CAFE, AND START CLEANING!

*Pause*

Supreme Dalek: We... obey?
_________________
Mattaf, Station Master
Scratchwood - "How the Rail Network Should be... sorta..."

charlierc · Posted: Sat Apr 24, 2010 12:06 pm Post subject:

*Electricfox arrives on Platform 2.*

Auto-PA: Next train arriving on Platform 2 is the 1308 Network South East stopping train to London Euston. This train will be calling at Moss Junction, Wolverton, Milton Keynes Central, Bletchley, Leighton Buzzard, Tring, Watford Junction and London Euston. Thank you.

*The PA goes off, as a Driving Van Trailer in NSE colours hauling a rake of 7 NSE-painted MK3's and an Rail Express Systems Class 86 rolls into the platform. Charlie is arrivng and spys Electricfox waiting to board.*

Charlie: Where you going?
Electricfox: Toronto via Moss Junction.
Charlie: Why? I thought UK airspace was shut.
Electricfox: I know. You forgot we have teleports to bridge the Atlantic.
Charlie: Ah yes. Really should charge mine.
Electricfox: Why don't you convert yours to rift energy?
Charlie: I should do but I keep forgetting.
Electricfox: Why not write a to do list?
Charlie: I lost the to do list. Can I come to Toronto with you?
Electricfox: Nah.
Charlie: C'mon...
Electricfox: No. And don't draw attention.
Charlie: But why are you going?
Electricfox: It seems Derek ran away and Torchwood Canada has taken him.
Charlie: Can I come help?
Electricfox: No. Torchwood personnel only.
Charlie: Bah.

*Electricfox boards the train, as Charlie passes the cafe, not noticing the Mighty Morfin' Power Daleks in the cafe. Charlie heads up into his office, while the train snakes its way out of Scratchwood Junction.*
_________________
Charles, PA Announcer and light show guy (and owner of C&X Group).

charlierc · Posted: Sun Dec 19, 2010 8:30 pm Post subject:

*No train has moved anyway for 5 days due to the heavy snow. A massive hole has appeared in the roof.*
_________________
Charles, PA Announcer and light show guy (and owner of C&X Group).

Mattaf · Posted: Mon Feb 07, 2011 7:39 pm Post subject:

*Matt is now standing on the roof, wearing only a grass skirt.*

Matt: DEREKKKKKKKKK!

All: WHO THE HELL IS DEREK?!?
_________________
Mattaf, Station Master
Scratchwood - "How the Rail Network Should be... sorta..."

DarthMunch · Posted: Mon Feb 14, 2011 12:23 am Post subject:

*A stranger appears at the end of the platform holding a Drivers Bag in one hand and a cup of tea in the other*

Derek: HALT!!! WHO ARE YOOOU?

*The figure comes into focus*

Chris: It's nice to be back Smile

_________________
CyberMunch
DarthMunch
Chris
Toffa

Its fun to be simple!

Mattaf · Posted: Wed Feb 16, 2011 3:02 am Post subject:

Matt looks down.

Matt: Derek?!?

Chris: What-up Matt?

Matt: GAH!!!!

*Matt jumps down off of the roof and runs away.*

Chris: What's bitten him?
_________________
Mattaf, Station Master
Scratchwood - "How the Rail Network Should be... sorta..."