Scratchwood Station

charlierc · Posted: Fri Feb 26, 2010 2:36 pm Post subject:

*A group of Greenpeace protestors set up camp on the ruins of Keab's Lab, protesting against his constant explosions.*

Keab: Get off my land!
Protestor: Not until you consider our delicate Mother Earth when you experiment!
Keab: Screw off - it's my lab and I'll do what I want with it.
Protestor: Not when it violates our atmosphere!
Keab: Just leave - you're embarrassing yourself.
Protestor: No, you're embarrassing our planet. We'll move when you pledge to clean up your act!
Keab: Grrrrrrr...

*Keab marches back to the station, looking rather cross with the protestors.*
_________________
Charles, PA Announcer and light show guy (and owner of C&X Group).

Keab42 · Posted: Wed Mar 17, 2010 1:47 pm Post subject:

*A protester gets hit in the face with a tumbleweed*

Protester: GODAMMIT! He's got remote controlled tumbleweeds now! This playing with nature has got to stop! DOWN WITH KEAB42!

*Nearby protesters begin chanting this and soon the chanting spreads through the entire camp*

Keab42 · Posted: Mon Mar 29, 2010 10:38 pm Post subject:

*As the robot reaches Keab's lab it begins belching black smoke, deploys a picture of Jeremy Clarkson and begins chanting pro-global warming slogans. The irate protestors begin abandoning their encampment to chase the Robot.*

Charlie: I must admit, I'm impressed, I didn't think that would work.
Electricfox: Nice touch with the Clarkson pic, I think that pushed them over the edge. Where is it going by the way?
Keab: Clarkson's house, I didn't want them coming back.
Charlie: Riiight...
Keab: Well I'll just pop in and turn the security on and then everything's back to normal.
Electricfox: Why wasn't the security on in the first place?
Keab: It kept targeting Charlie.
Charlie: *gulps* Wwwell I'm heading back to the Café, anybody joining me
Electricfox: Sure. I wonder what's on telly....

Keab42 · Posted: Sat Apr 03, 2010 10:35 pm Post subject:

*The passing TARDIS causes a delicate experiement to go critical. As expected an explosion follows*

*A charred looking Keab emerges from the wreckage of his lab*

Keab: Bugger.

*He sets off in the direction of the café*

Electricfox · Posted: Wed Apr 14, 2010 3:08 pm Post subject:

Derek: "SEEK...LO-CATE...SEEK...LO-CATE...SEEK...LIFE-FORM DE-TECT-ED! SUB-JECT DES-IG-NAT-ED KEAB42!"
Keab: "Hello Derek...what can I do for you today? What happened to your paintwork?"
Derek: "AN UN-FORT-U-NATE EN-COUNT-ER WITH A HU-MAN TRANS-PORT-ATION U-NIT ON PLAT-FORM TWO!"
Keab: "You got hit by a train?"
Derek: "...YES..."
Keab: "Heh, Dalekanium is tougher than I thought...alright...we'll see if we can do something about your paintwork...give me a minute."

*He searches around for a spray gun and paint.*
_________________
Jamie
The local 'Bobby'

charlierc · Posted: Wed Apr 14, 2010 6:13 pm Post subject:

*Derek wheels up to the doors to the lab.*

Derek: SUB-JECT DES-IG-NA-TED KEAB42, COME OUT OF YOUR LAB YOU BAS-TARD! PAINT ME BACK TO MY PRO-PER CO-LOUR SCHEME OR ELSE YOU WILL BE EX-TER-MI-NATED!
Keab (in a dodgy German accent): Um.... he's not here at the moment. Please try again.
Derek: VOICE RE-COG-NI-TION MOD-U-LATORS RE-COG-NISE YOUR VOICE ANYWAY DUM-DUM-HEAD! COME OUT AND RE-PAINT ME IN MY PRO-PER COLOURS OR BE EX-TER-MI-NATED!
Keab: Just a second, I'll be right out...

*Although Derek doesn't see it, Keab is entering the 'Emergency Escape Chute' and glides out of it.*

Derek: I'M WA-ITING!

*Keab glides to safety... unfortunately for him, safety under regular instances means about 500 yards away in the direction of the station.*

Keab: Um... uh-oh...
Derek: I SEE YOU DID NOT TRY TO HELP, ONLY TO ES-CAPE!
Keab: And... ?
Derek: CO-WAR-DICE SHALL NOT BE TOL-ER-ATED, EVEN BY THE DE-COR-ATOR! YOU SHALL HENCE-FORTH BE EX-TER-MI-NATED!
Keab: Bugggggerrrrr....

*Derek fires, but his beam bounces of the window of a MK3 carriage in a Euston-Liverpool train that gets in the line of fire and the ray beam lands on a piece of catenary for the slip junction that heads towards the Midland and East Coast mainlines.*

Derek: BUG-GER THE RE-SET-TING OF MY BEAM CHARGE TO MIN-I-MUM! SOME-TIMES I SWEAR A WA-TER PIS-TOL HAS MORE POWER!

*Keab runs away down the road towards the station, past the engine sheds and through the abandoned fairground opposite the road from it.*
_________________
Charles, PA Announcer and light show guy (and owner of C&X Group).

Keab42 · Posted: Wed Apr 14, 2010 10:44 pm Post subject:

*In Keab's lab a small experiment continues unchecked. A warning light appears on the computer*

Computer: Warning chronon surge imminent...

charlierc · Posted: Sun Apr 18, 2010 12:21 pm Post subject:

*A red alert siren begins sounding from the lab, which promptly echoes across Scratchwood too. Derek meanwhile has a communication of a new Dalek design...*

Derek: DA-LEK SAU-CER DE-TEC-TED IN TIME COR-RI-DORS! SEN-SORS DE-TECT NEW DA-LEK DE-SIGN POS-SIB-LY BASED ON THE HU-MAN SWEETS KNOWN AS SKIT-TLES! MUST RE-MAIN LOW OR THEY MAY CON-SIDER ME WOR-THY OF EX-TINC-TION!
Keab: Are you done moaning about your factory line upgrade or are you gonna weep and let me get away coward? Cos I'd like to get back to my lab and re-assert myslef on my experiment!
Derek: I CHO-OSE TO CON-TIN-UE FOL-LOW-ING! EX-TER-MIN-ATE!

*Derek fires widly at Keab in the abandoned fairground. A ray strikes an old hot dog stand and leaves a hole inside.*

Derek: FIRE-POWER RUN-NING LOW! MUST RE-TURN TO RE-STORE WEA-PONS CHARGE!
_________________
Charles, PA Announcer and light show guy (and owner of C&X Group).