Scratchwood Station

charlierc · Posted: Sat Jun 23, 2007 11:03 pm Post subject:

*A cafe patron taps a sinister 4-beat rhythm*
Charlie: Any ideas what it could mean?
Matt: I don't know... but it could mean something sinister.
Derek: WHAT IN THE NAME OF THE TIME LORDS ARE YOU ON A-BOUT?
Matt: Maybe you shouldn't know.
*A mobile phone belonging to someone, registered with the Archangel network, beeps a similar 4-beat ryhthm*

Electricfox: Something could be hidden...
Charlie: You don't think we don't know that?!
Electricfox: Indeed. But still, extremelty suspicious isn't it?
Matt: Still, it's not important enough... well, yet.
Charlie: Now, what did I come in here for again... oh yeah, some jelly babies and water, ta.
Matt: Tap's outside, I can give you the jelly babies.
Charlie: Superb...
Matt: Be right back.
Charlie: Wha...
*Matt teleports out the cafe*
Charlie: ...t?

Electricfox: Not the best of plans... eh?
Charlie: Indeed.
Electricfox: So what do you make of the rhythm. The strange noise that forever intrigues.
Charlie: You think it's like a subliminal message hidden?
Electricfox: Yea, probably.
Charlie: Let's see what happens.
Electricfox: May as well ring up Torchwood, I mean something's going on and I think there maybe something hidden within all this.
Derek: IT IS NOT THE BEST OF I-DEAS, A-LLOW-ING THE BOSS TO LEAVE DUR-ING HA-PPY HOUR!
Electricfox: Why would Matt want to let people pay 25% less on everything, espicially as happy hour ends when he comes back.
Charlie: Ah.

*A strange metal football-shaped sphere hovers on a path under the roof and then up in the sky, firing a red laster bolt at a rogue acting on the streets of the town centre, while Matt teleports back, 500g of jelly babies in his hand*

Matt: £2.25 please,
Charlie: 'Ere ya go.
_________________
Charles, PA Announcer and light show guy (and owner of C&X Group).

Mattaf · Posted: Mon Jun 25, 2007 10:37 am Post subject:

Electricfox · Posted: Mon Jun 25, 2007 12:07 pm Post subject:

Electricfox: "Hello? Torchwood? Hello? Hmmm...that's odd..."
Charlie: "What?"
Electricfox: "It's the answering machine..."
Charlie: "Eh?"

*A small football sized metal sphere materialises.*

Matt: "Aaaaaah!" *Hides behind the counter*
Electricfox: "Whoa...what's that?"
Charlie: "I dunno...looks like that target droid from Star Wars..."
Electricfox: "Or a Borg Sphere..."
Tim: "You guys watch way too much sci-fi!"

*The sphere hovers around, closely examining the staff.*

Electricfox: "Well...erm...hello?"
Sphere: "Are you the master?"
Electricfox: "Well...erm...no..."
Sphere: "We want the Mister master!"
Electricfox: "Well...he's not here..."
Sphere: "We like the Mister master the most!!"
Charlie: "Who is this Master?"
Derek: "HE IS A REN-E-GADE TIME-LOOOOOORD!"
Electricfox: "What Derek said...and...erm Derek?"
Derek: "YES?!"
Electricfox: "Got your beam gun ready?"
Derek: "WHYYYYY?"
Electricfox: "Because..."
Sphere: "We want the Master!"

*The sphere pulls out an assortment of sharp objects.*

Electricfox: "Derek, open fire!!"
Derek: "EX-TER-MIN-AAAATE!!"

*Derek destroys the sphere.*

Matt: (From underneath the bar) "So Tim...still up for that job?"
_________________
Jamie
The local 'Bobby'

charlierc · Posted: Mon Jun 25, 2007 3:49 pm Post subject:

*Matt turns on the TV*

TV Announcer: "We're getting slaughtered! All of Earth's major cities are under siege from the Toclafane and there are now confimed rumours the British PM Mr. Saxon, who has been called 'The Master' is in charge of the army, 6 billion strong."

Derek: OH NOT A-GAIN!
Charlie: What, we're all doomed?!
Electricfox: Probably.
Tim: Oh, there's go my hopes of ever getting a paycheck!
Matt: Yea... paycheck.
Charlie: I'll tell you what that means later...
Matt: Maybe it's best you don't...
Charlie: Okay then.
Electricfox: I think this is too much for Torchwood...
Derek: BUT IT'S NOT TOO MUCH FOR A FOR-MER DA-LEK SOIL-DER!
Electricfox: *to himself* Self-appreciative pepperpot.
Derek: RA-CIST BA-STARD! EX-TER-MI-NATE!
*Electricfox ducks and the beam crashes into a window*
Matt: Oi!

*Toclafane break into the news studio*
TV Announcer: "NO! DON'T... AAARRGGGHHHH!!!!"
Matt: There goes Britain's only half-decent TV news presenter.
Electricfox: You can say that again...
*The TV pictures from various world cities all show the same grisly thing... the Toclafane in the skies bombarding the ground and all lifeforms on it's surface*
_________________
Charles, PA Announcer and light show guy (and owner of C&X Group).

WSR2005 · Posted: Tue Jun 26, 2007 3:55 pm Post subject:

charlierc · Posted: Tue Jun 26, 2007 5:45 pm Post subject:

*Only Midland Tower, the town hall and Rivertown Shopping Centre have been left standing in one piece, and most of the population have been either vaporised or chopped*
Charlie: Well, that's... er... strange.
Matt: Why are you talking like that?
Charlie: No reason...
Electricfox: What, so the Toclafane have pretty much flattened the town centre and killed most of the town's population.
Matt: What... you mean like the Cybermen and Martians and Daleks?
Charlie: Yea...

*The Toclafane, having destroyed most the town, swarm north west heading toward Birmingham*
Tim: Right, that's the toast gotten rid of.
Toast: MWAHAHAHAHAHAH! I can never be defeated!
Charlie: Oh for gods sake.
Matt: I'll never be buying Warbutons ever again!
Electricfox: A bit like the fact you decided you'll never shop at Tesco again?
Charlie: So what are the Tescofane up to?
Derek: WHO KNOWS? WHO CARES?
Matt: You might. Tesco could be taking the world over!
Charlie: When where TESCO involved?
Electricfox: Didn't you see the Tesco logos on the head spheres?
Matt: Yeah...

*Swarms of Tescofane accelerate north-west over Scratchwood *
_________________
Charles, PA Announcer and light show guy (and owner of C&X Group).

Mattaf · Posted: Wed Jun 27, 2007 5:52 pm Post subject:

*The staff watch as new Prime Minister, Gordon Brown, talks to the media in front of number 10.*

Gorden Brown: On this day I remember words that have stayed with me since my childhood and which matter a great deal to me today. My school motto: I will try my utmost. This is my promise to all of the people of Britain, especially in the light of the current alien invasion. And now let the work of change begin.

Electricfox: Hmmm... anyone else think that last bit is very familiar?

Matt: Nope.
_________________
Mattaf, Station Master
Scratchwood - "How the Rail Network Should be... sorta..."

charlierc · Posted: Wed Jun 27, 2007 6:31 pm Post subject:

*Watches TESCO stormtroopers storm the media launch*

Balowski: ARGH! Ze American superstore is storming ze arrival of ze new Prime Minister! Run for your lives!
Charlie: Can Balowski go one day without moaning about 'an American invasion' or something... ?
Matt: Well, we all know TESCO are trying to take over the world.
Electricfox: Oh come on, how much harm could a multi-billion pound market dominating mass producing supermarket do?
Charlie: What indeed.
Matt: I have no idea...
TESCO Stormtrooper: "Listen up! The Tesco Federal Empire of Southern Europe will fully annex the continent. Obey us and you will be spared!"
Gordon Brown: "Guards!"
TESCO Stormtrooper: "The British Army is now under control of Harold Saxon and he is in charge of the Empire!"
Gordon Brown: "You don't own any land..."
TESCO Stormtrooper: "Behind the scenes, we control France, Italy, Croatia and Montenegro, and we are advancing in Spain and Switzerland."
Gordon Brown: "Right... I'll inform you of my decision later."
TESCO Stormtrooper: "NOW! If you refuse, I will call the Tescofane army to reduce your capital to rubble until you surrender."

*A video of London can be scene. The Gherkin is glowing in strange colours and has the flags of Tesco on the top*
_________________
Charles, PA Announcer and light show guy (and owner of C&X Group).

Electricfox · Posted: Wed Jun 27, 2007 8:18 pm Post subject:

*Electricfox sets up his laptop and looks at www.number-10.gov.uk to check out the new members of the cabinet.*

charlierc · Posted: Sat Jun 30, 2007 5:40 pm Post subject:

Matt: Well, I've got to go shopping?
Electricfox: With Toclafane patrols and a massive flood?
Charlie: Jamie's right. It's suicidal.
Matt: I think that flood water is receding.
Derek: UM, WELL, AC-TU-ALLY, I WAS IN-VOLVED WITH THE I-NI-TIAL FLOOD!
Electricfox: How?
Derek: SOME-ONE HAD STOL-EN A SU-PPLY OF O-RANGE JUICE! I TRIED TO EX-TER-MIN-ATE HIM BUT I HIT THE MUD-BANK AND THE BANK ON THE SIDE OF THE TOWN CEN-TRE GAVE WAY AND THE WA-TER E-SCAPED, FLOO-DING THE TOWN!
Charlie: Ah.

*The gang look towards Scratchwood Town. The bridges lie in ruins and the roads and streets of the Rivertown and lower High/Main streets are underwater, with anglers fishing into it and Toclafane monitoring the area*
Balowski: I fear that ze inferiror American spherical objects could do Komrade Derek-stlye eradication.
Derek: WE MAY HAVE CON-QUERED AND DE-STR-OYED PLAN-ETS, BUT AT LEAST WE HAVE A FREE RIGHT RATHER THAN DOING SOME-ONE'S DI-RTY WORK!
Charlie: Good for you.
Matt: Yeah, yeah... so how am I supposed to get the supplies?
Electricfox: I dunno...
Matt: Suppose these 'Toclafane' could lighten up a little?
Electricfox: You do know the food complex in the Rivertown area is underwater, right?

Matt: Oh yeah... but there outlets at either end of the road.
Charlie: You mean those snivelling market-dominating weaklings known as Tesco?
Matt: Yeah, I know, I know...
*Toclafane rush west from the town to the Kingsfields District, just west of the station, looking towards the airport via the town centre*
Electricfox: Ah. There goes the final hopes.

*Laser beams can be heard from the background. Matt and Electricfox look out the only window which looks towards Kingsifelds. Toclafane can be seen fighting various rogues armed with missles and machine guns*
Charlie: What's going on?
Derek: SEN-SORS DE-TECT HUGE FIGHT BE-TWEEN RE-BELS AND THE TOC-LA-FANE IN THE KING-FIELDS DIS-TRICT!
Electricfox: What is of importance over there? It's just the inferior West Scratchwood.
Matt: All that there is the football club, a Conservative club and some houses. It is linked to Scratchwood Town by roads off the north end of ours.
Charlie: Should we make a run for it?
Electricfox: That's not a wise decision, they'll just incinerate us. Derek would have to give us covering fire, but if we were on a train or coach, we'd have to take out seats and windows for any effectiveness.
Derek: EX-ACT-LY!
_________________
Charles, PA Announcer and light show guy (and owner of C&X Group).

Mattaf · Posted: Wed Jul 04, 2007 9:53 am Post subject:

*Several Hours Later*

*The gang finish removing the seats from a DMU which is parked in a yard, just as an express train speeds past, heading north. All the windows are lowered, giving Derek a clear line of fire.*

Electricfox: Right, I'll get up front and drive.

Derek: I WILL RE-MAIN IN THE CARRIAGE AND PRO-VIDE SU-PRESS-ING FIRE!

Matt: Good for you. I just want my supplies. We're out of milk too.

Charlie: Well, when we reach Wolverton, there's a Tesco’s right next to the yard, so we can stop off there if it makes you happy.

Matt: Good.

*Everyone climbs in, and the train pulls away. Several toclafane follow the train, firing warning shots.*

Derek: ENEMY DETECTED! EX-TER-MIN-ATE!

*Derek destroys the toclafane one by one. Suddenly, a swarm of them heads towards the train from the direction of Scratchwood town.*

Tim: I think we made them mad!
_________________
Mattaf, Station Master
Scratchwood - "How the Rail Network Should be... sorta..."

Electricfox · Posted: Mon Jul 23, 2007 6:55 pm Post subject:

*Electricfox walks in*

Electricfox: "Erm...guys, I don't wish to alarm you...but I've just taken this picture down by the river..."

Derek: "Activating submergance mode!"
_________________
Jamie
The local 'Bobby'

charlierc · Posted: Mon Jul 23, 2007 7:19 pm Post subject:

Charlie: But Scratchwood isn't even near a flood plain.
Matt: Obviously having 3 months of rain during Friday plus some heavy showers recently didn't up.
*The lights go out, Matt promptly screams*
Derek: AAARRGGHHHH!!! I DON'T KNOW WHAT'S WORSE! THE HU-MANS SCREA-MING OR THE DARKNESS GEN-ER-ATED BY THE POWER CUT!
Electricfox: Matt, what was the point in that?
Matt: Er.. nothing.

*Charlie walks onto Platform 2 looking south towards the viaducts over the river and sees a dry bed, trains running fine. Looks north and sees that the ECML and MML lines are flooded*
Charlie: Matt... I think we'll be needing the sandbags soon.
Matt: There in the supply cupboard on the platform. Why?
Charlie: Two tracks north of the station are underwater. The catenary has been long switched off.
Electricfox: I think we're going to have more than just a few minor delays...
Matt: Obvously just major delays then.
Electricfox: Actually, I was thinking about cancellations on ECML and MML trains and delays for WCML and MML ones.
Matt: Looks like it...
_________________
Charles, PA Announcer and light show guy (and owner of C&X Group).

Electricfox · Posted: Mon Jul 23, 2007 7:48 pm Post subject:

*Electricfox tears a memo off the fax machine in the corner of the room that printed just before the power cut*

Matt: "How long has that been there?!"
Electricfox: "Derek left it there after he raided Staples last."
Derek: "SPOILS OF WAAARRR!!"
Matt: "Derek...I employ you as a security guard and cleaner...not part-time Viking pillager!"
Derek: "WHAT I DO IN MY SPARE TIME IS MY BUS-I-NESS!!"
Matt: "Not when it gets me thrown in jail it isn't!"
Electricfox: "ANYWAY!! This fax says that until the end of the flooding, we're going over to all steam usage, and then there's the customary five pages of TSRs, Diversions, Cancellations and track washed away."
Charlie: "Sounds like any time Ali gets a hold of one of those signal levers."
Electricfox: *laughs* "That's very true."
Ali: "HEY!!"
Matt: "Well...Ali, I think you, Derek and Balowski better get some sandbags filled, just in case anything happens. Electricfox, you're gonna be the safest out of all of us up in your 'box..."
Electricfox: "Yup."
Charlie: "Lucky git..."
Ali: "We'd better keep an eye on the subway too...it's roughly on the river level, water might seep through the tiles."
Matt: "Good point...I'll take a look down there later."
Electricfox: "If it gets too bad, you guys are welcome up in the 'box."
Matt: "Thanks, but let's hope it doesn't get that bad."

*Everyone goes their seperate ways.*
_________________
Jamie
The local 'Bobby'

charlierc · Posted: Mon Jul 23, 2007 9:21 pm Post subject:

Charlie: I thought we re-inforced the subway with titanium...
*Clatter comes from the other end of the subway*
Matt: Oh dear...
Derek: SCANS SHOW THAT DIN-GY DARK WA-TER IS SEE-PING ME-NA-CING-LY TO-WARDS CA-FE!
Matt: As it probably would...
*Matt puts up notice which says "STATION CLOSED, CAFE INCLUDED" and rushes towards subway access portal, closely followed by Balowski and Derek*

Charlie: All alone...
Matt: DON'T GO INTO THE FRIDGE, FREEZER, MINI-BAR OR DRINK MACHINE!
Derek: YEA, OR YOU WILL BE SOUND-LY EX-TER-MI-NATED!
Charlie: Well I don't see any point in staying around know...
*Walks off to access portal*
_________________
Charles, PA Announcer and light show guy (and owner of C&X Group).