Scratchwood Station

Electricfox · Posted: Sun Aug 05, 2007 5:50 pm Post subject:

*walks into the cafe*

Electricfox: "Matt? Derek?"

Electricfox: "Heeellooooo?! What's with all the dust? And ewww...that great big green and grey lump of...oh...that must have been that bit of talking toast...yuck..."

*throws moldy toast into the bin.*

Electricfox: "Well...where are they? Have I gone back into '73 again?"

*exits cafe*
_________________
Jamie
The local 'Bobby'

charlierc · Posted: Fri Aug 10, 2007 12:19 pm Post subject:

*Turns on TV*

Electricfox: Where'd that TV come from?
Charlie: I bought it as a Chritsmas present. As a parting gift, we got a freeview of James10.
Electricfox: So, any news?
Charlie: Let's see...
*Turns on BBC News 24*
BBC News: "News of a 4th foot and mouth outbreak possibility. This one is the first outside Surrey and appears to be near the Northamptonshire town of Scratchwood."
Charlie: Great. First bird flu, now this!
Electricfox: Right... bird flu...
Charlie: You know something about that one, don't you...
Electricfox: Maybe.
*Turns TV off*
_________________
Charles, PA Announcer and light show guy (and owner of C&X Group).

WSR2005 · Posted: Tue Aug 14, 2007 4:53 pm Post subject:

*wakes up*

Tim: Hey, where did the toast go? It was becoming part of the furniture.

*Notices TV*

Tim: Foot & Mouth, eh? Not much I can do about that, but I can solve the problem of hunger! Anyone peckish?
Charlie: I'll have an egg sandwich please.
Tim: Coming right up.

*walks into kitchen at the back of cafe and is hit by the cloud of dust inside*

Electricfox: I think you might be waiting a while for that sandwich, Charlie....
Tim: On second thoughts, I'll get Matt to make it. I still haven't been paid.
Electricfox: Neither have we.
Derek: NEI-THER HAVE I!
Tim: I spy a conspiracy.
_________________
Yup, that's me on the deckchair

charlierc · Posted: Wed Aug 15, 2007 10:43 am Post subject:

Charlie: I'd rather have a cheese and ham one actually. I said eggs because I forgot.
Tim: Right... small problem...
Charlie: Namely...
Tim: There's no fresh ham...
Charlie: A cheese sandwich is alright.
Tim: *Sighs* Fair enough...
_________________
Charles, PA Announcer and light show guy (and owner of C&X Group).

Electricfox · Posted: Wed Aug 15, 2007 12:07 pm Post subject:

*Electricfox walks behind the counter*

Electricfox: "That's it...I've been without food for too long...I'm going down the town to get something to eat...."
Charlie: "With what? We haven't been paid yet!"
Electricfox: "Simple...see this? It's Matts safe!"
Charlie: "You aren't suggesting..."
Electricfox: "Of course I am! If he's not going to pay us, we'll pay ourselves!"

*Electricfox hauls the safe out of its hiding spot and onto the cafe floor.*

Electricfox: "Anyone know the combination?"

*Blank stares from all.*

Electricfox: "Aw bugger...we'll have to do this the hard way."

*Electricfox draws a pistol and fires it at the safe, there's a spark, a 'Twang!' and the bullet ricochetes around the cafe, putting a hole in the window.*

Electricfox: "Right...that was a bad idea...we need some kind of explosive device to open this door..."
Charlie: "Yeah...real smart, and blow up the money inside?!"
Electricfox: "No, no, no, some kind of small amount of semtex or something..."
Charlie: "I say we use a loco to pull the door open, we've got plenty in the shed!"
Electricfox: "Alright, we'll do it your way...cheaper than using semtex...come on, we'll take this out onto the platform...."

*Electricfox and Charlie exit carrying the safe.*
_________________
Jamie
The local 'Bobby'

charlierc · Posted: Wed Aug 15, 2007 5:43 pm Post subject:

*Tows the safe into a fortified steel chamber somewhere at the back of the cafe*

Charlie: Well, stick the bomb on the lock...
Electricfox: There we are...
Charlie: Got the detonator?
Electricfox: Yes. Shall we run?
Charlie: Er... yeah.

*Charlie and Electricfox walk to the door and shuts the door to the chamber. Electricfox presses the detonator and then we find the safe, door blown open*

Charlie: There we are. Let's see, there's about... *Counting money*... 2 thousand pounds in there.
Electricfox: How we gonna split it up then?
Charlie: I dunno... you get £400, I get £75 and Tim... Tim gets £125.
Electricfox: You haven't opted to collect much...
Charlie: There's a lot you don't know about my very rich spare time...
Electricfox: Okay.

*Electricfox collects the money*
_________________
Charles, PA Announcer and light show guy (and owner of C&X Group).

WSR2005 · Posted: Wed Aug 15, 2007 9:37 pm Post subject:

*walks in and sees all the money on the floor*

Tim: Wow.
Charlie:Before you get any ideas, we've already sorted out who gets what.
Tim: Oh?
Electricfox: Yep, I get £400, you get £125, and Charlie here gets £75.
Tim: I get £75?
Charlie: That's not what he said....
Tim: I need to get a second job, I'll be in the gutter at this rate...
Electricfox: Ah well, looks like you get more then Charlie.
_________________
Yup, that's me on the deckchair

Electricfox · Posted: Sat Aug 18, 2007 7:06 pm Post subject:

*It's evening in the cafe*
*Electricfox has a pint glass of ale, Charlie a cocktail and Tim a can of coke.*

Electricfox: "Well...I've safeguarded my £400."
Charlie: "Me too...I've put it in liquid funds!"
Electricfox: "You spent 75 quid on a cocktail?"
Charlie: "It's a very good cocktail!"
Electricfox: "Fair enough...what about you Tim? What did you spend your money on?"
Tim: "Erm...I...erm...hid it under my pillow..."
Electricfox: "Well..that's really secure..."
Tim: "It was the best place I could think of!!"

Electricfox: "Well...now what do we do...I mean it's been about what...two weeks now, since Matt and Derek disappeared...I tried tracking Derek but he must have removed the transmitter."
Charlie: "I asked around and no-one saw them leave, or seen them since."
Tim: "Erm...well...we can run this place ourselves alright!"
Electricfox: "Well...I've got the 'box sorted, Charlie has the announcer..."
Tim: "What about the cafe?"
*Electricfox and Charlie look at Tim.*
Tim: "Oh...no...nonono...I can't cook!"
Charlie: "Neither can Matt..."
Tim: "I don't know how to run a cafe!"
Electricfox: "It's alright...it's not as if you get customers!"
Tim: "But..."
Charlie: "I'll have a coffee thanks Tim!"

*Tim sighs, gets off his chair and walks into the kitchen.*

Tim: (From kitchen) "Oh my god! The size of these spiders!!"
Electricfox: "There's a pistol in the till!"
Tim: (From kitchen) "Ow! I think something just bit me!"
Electricfox: "That's probably a rat!"

*All of a sudden all of the lights go out. Then there's a crash from the kitchen.*

Tim: (From kitchen) "I didn't do it!"
Electricfox: "Wonder what did that...probably Balowski."
Charlie: (From by the window) "Well, the towns lights are still on..."
Electricfox: "Odd...perhaps some sort of localised EMP..."
Tim: (From kitchen) "Have you paid the electricity bill?"
Electricfox: "Nah."
Charlie: "Matt pays tha- erm...oh..."

Electricfox: "I'll go get a torch from the 'box."
Charlie: "I'll get some candles."

*Electricfox and Charlie leave the cafe.*

Tim: (From kitchen) "Erm...guys...little help here? There's sharp things on the floor...I can't move...."
_________________
Jamie
The local 'Bobby'

charlierc · Posted: Sat Aug 18, 2007 9:57 pm Post subject:

Charlie: Right then... there's candles in the stock cupboard.
Electricfox: Right.
Tim: Er, guys, I think I'm bleeding...
Charlie: Oh dear...
Electricfox: Where is the stock cupboard?
Charlie: Let's see, it's at the opposite end of Platform 2. Shame that the fact our electricity bill covers platforms, station lights and box lights.
Electricfox: The OHL is payed for by BR. Correct?
Charlie: I think so. By the way, who is our electrical supplier?
Electricfox: Same as the rest of town. Some bozos called C&X Energy.
Charlie: Fair enough...

*Charlie walks out, using a mobile phone light to illuminate surrondings*

Tim: HURRY!

*Charlie opens up the supply cupboard door, takes out 9 candles and 2 portable emergency lights before then walking back to the cafe. Enters the cafe and places the 9 candles in various places around the main cafe*

Electricfox: Ah. I see you got two extra portable lights.
Charlie: Indeed.
Electricfox: I've got the torch here. Mind you, there maybe tears on the sign. It did have a holographic Torchwood logo on before I removed it last April.
Charlie: Fair enough.

*Places the 2 portable emergency lights in parts of the main area*

Tim: Oh, I guess I'm not bleeding, it's just a water leak. But... oh... wait... all these knives can't be good. Er, guys?
Electricfox (shouting from foyer): Yeah?
Tim: I think there's about 9 knives pinning me down...
Charlie: Oh dear...

*Charlie picks up a portable light and follows Electricfox who is wielding his torch to the mysterious back of the cafe. After a while of searching, we find Tim who is being pinned down with 9 knives and there's about 4 more on the surronding floor*

Electricfox: This is going to take a while to clear up.
Charlie: There's 2 pinning each arm down, 2 pinning down the torso and a total of 5 pinning his legs and feet down.
Electricfox: And we're going to have to make sure as little blood as possible comes out...
Tim: I didn't agree to this!
_________________
Charles, PA Announcer and light show guy (and owner of C&X Group).

Electricfox · Posted: Sun Aug 19, 2007 6:52 am Post subject:

*While Charlie deals with rescuing Tim, Electricfox looks thoughtful, takes one of the torches and heads out onto the platform.*
_________________
Jamie
The local 'Bobby'

Mattaf · Posted: Mon Aug 20, 2007 7:52 pm Post subject:

*Storms back into Cafe*

Matt: GOD!!! 2 weeks we were away and they've destroyed the entire bloody station!!!

Derek: THEY ARE MORONS!

Matt: You said it...

*Electricity comes back on.*

Matt: Thank god for that... come on, Derek, we have customers to serve!
_________________
Mattaf, Station Master
Scratchwood - "How the Rail Network Should be... sorta..."

charlierc · Posted: Mon Aug 20, 2007 8:55 pm Post subject:

Tannoy: "Citizens rejoice! Your lord and muppet stands on high. Playing track 12."
*The door slides open. Charlie comes out the door and slides around like a maniac*
Matt: What are you doing?
Charlie: Ssshhh... play along...
Tannoy: "I can't decide whether you should live or die! Oh, you'll probably go to heaven, please don't hang your head and cry! I wonder why my heart is dead inside, it's cold and hard and petrified!"
Matt: Turn that music off!
*Charlie slides, jumps and runs towards the door, then opens it a bit idiotically and runs up the stairs*
Tannoy: "Oh I could throw you in the lake or feed you poisoned birthday cake. I won't deny I'm gonna miss you when you're gone! Oh, I could bury you alive but you might crawl out with a knife and kill me when I'm sleeping, that's why..."
*Tannoy is suddenly turned off*
Matt: Thank god for that!

Charlie: Ah come on, it's not that bad a song.
Matt: It is! It's one of the worst songs I've heard.
Charlie: Oh well...
*Charlie comes down the stairs and slides, runs and jumps around like a maniac again, before heading out the door*
Derek: WELL, THAT WAS ONE OF THE STRAN-GEST MO-MENTS I HAVE E-VER SEEN!
Matt: Yeah...
Charlie: I HEARD THAT!
Derek: OH WELL! WHO CARES ANY-WAT! I HAVE MY OWN TASTE IN MU-SIC!
Matt: Since when did Daleks have any tastes in music?
Derek: IT DOESN'T MA-TTER!
Matt: Anyway... Charlie?

*Charlie walks in normally this time*
Charlie: Yeah?
Matt: Did you pay that electrical bill?
Charlie: Not exactly...
Matt: What do you mean not exactly?
Charlie: I was approaching the bank and then I got a call...
Matt: Interesting. Go on...
Charlie: He said I had won 24.5 million Ugandan dollars in a lottery with a bank I'm not even with.
Matt: You what?
Charlie: I know. When I went to the bank to pay the bill, I got told to go to the electrical company's regional HQ.
Matt: He told you where... right?
Charlie: No. But I know where it is and I'm going there later...

(I had a strange plan that Matt and Derek had been kidnapped and thrown into a cell underneath the Thames Barrier)
_________________
Charles, PA Announcer and light show guy (and owner of C&X Group).

Mattaf · Posted: Mon Aug 20, 2007 9:15 pm Post subject:

charlierc · Posted: Mon Aug 20, 2007 9:16 pm Post subject:

Keab42 · Posted: Thu Aug 30, 2007 12:05 pm Post subject:

*Walks in and sets up a video camera on a tripod*
*Sets up a folding chair and points camera at the nearest piece of chaos*
*Settles down in chair with a bag of popcorn*